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Joke of the Day
"You can now buy candy unwrapped and avoid any effort at all to eat it. USA! USA!"
Next Joke
"Not all astrophysicists are bad. I'm sure at least one of them's a really Feynman."
"There are more Jews than Native Americans... I guess genocide is just one more thing Americans are better at than Germans"
"If I can see your boner I'm going to acknowledge it with a subtle head nod. Respect."
"I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related."
"How does a farmer find a sheep in the long grass? Satisfying"
"What do you need to poop in the forest? Toiletries"
"I once applied for a job to work as a blacksmith.... The blacksmith asked me if I'd ever shooed a horse. I said ""no, but I once told a donkey to piss off."""
"Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist? They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it. Teehee"
"What's heavier, 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? Your mother."