169882

Joke of the Day

"I didnt just read it I Reddit"

"Note to guy who hit the crosswalk button like 45 seconds after I did & just then it changed: You didn't do that. I did that."

"What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow."

"{Bear walks up to me} ME: Plays dead BEAR: Get up, I just want to talk. Who are you voting for in the election ME: Ugh, a poller bear"

"Ambidextrous baseball players... Swing both ways"

"A man goes to a house of ill repute on his hundredth birthday He tells the madam, ""I'd like a woman."" ""Forget it old man, you've had it."" ""How much do I owe you?"""

"Dear Kanye West, Take the diaper off your daughter and put it around your face. A lot of crap has been coming from it lately"

"I want to start my own ice cream brand and call it ""Lick Me Till"". Lick me till ice cream..."

"What do you call a cheap hooker? A bang for your buck."

"Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help. She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night."