169882

Joke of the Day

"I didnt just read it I Reddit"

"Him: Productive conference call? Me: Hell yeah. I painted my toes, posted 6 pictures on IG, and got in one solid nap."

"Why are mexicans so predictable in Uno? Because they always wish for the green card"

"Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck..."

"*plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*"

"Damn, you know you're getting old when you get up in the morning and have to rest for awhile"

"Facebook should invent a relationship status that says ""Only when I'm drunk."""

"So Cheech Marin plays golf now, which is appropriate Because what's more Mexican than sweating balls on a freshly-mowed lawn with a bag full of weapons?"

"The German players enjoyed some Argentinian steak today... but it was a little Messi"

"Why didn't the bear go to college? Because bears don't go to college."