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Joke of the Day

"Dinner with Drag Queens So, I went to a Potluck with a bunch of drag queens. When the food was finally served, the host stood up and said, ""Tuck in!"""

"I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face."

"A Farmer and his cows A farmer counted his Cows before taking them to auction and counted 196 of them. But when he rounded them up, he had 200."

"I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you. Do you have any cookies?"

"ESA to release second probe ""SHIO"" to 67P The ""Philae-Shio"" team will be sucking in 67P's particles and spitting out information to be sent back to ESA for examination."

"Played an organ for the first time today I really enjoyed it, but my patient didn't."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I've never paid money to have a lentil on my face!"

"Little miss muffet. Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey, when down came a spider, who sat down beside her and said "" what's in the bowl bitch""."

"Oscar Pistorius is soon getting out of jail. 10 months without sex, you should hide, ladies. But for the love of God, not in the bathroom."

"""Sorry but It's me or the label maker."" [takes GIRLFRIEND label off her shirt] ""Thank y-"" [sticks on a label that says EX-GIRLFRIEND]"