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Joke of the Day

"I'm okay with Trump becoming president His hands are so tiny, he can't hold a pen to sign any bills"

"Dear investors, I'd like to make a chap stick called ""food court Chinese food."" Please snapchat if interested."

"Chipotle has been hacked for an hour and hasn't noticed... Taylor Swift was hacked and wrote an album about it 30 seconds after."

"What do you call a girl without arms and legs? A fuck nugget"

"Growing up in a household dominated by females, you learn: 1. The importance of listening 2. 101 euphemisms for ""the monthly visitor"""

"Why did the gay necropheliac stop by the morgue on his way home? He wanted to suck down a few cold ones after work."

"When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions."

"Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!"

"Anyone want to know my secret to quit procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject, these days if you mention botox no one raises an eyebrow."