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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann? News of the elections is getting old."

"I tripped over some stupid plant so I gave it the finger and walked in a circle around it because I wasn't sure where its stupid eyes were."

"I just threw a rock at a guy who was getting Subway breakfast. He understood why."

"My friend asked me if he was gay... I didn't know how to give him a straight answer."

"Guys! The Ultimate Warrior Is Not Dead! He just decided to return to Parts Unkown."

"Hodor joke (Knock knock) Who's there? Hodor. Hodor who? Hodor."

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years, Come on guys I don't have 2020 vision"

"*Tips fedora at a mosquito* ""M'laria'"

"First take an ass and put another ass behind it. Then I come. Then the whole nation comes after me.... That is how you spell assassination"

"Chuck Norris can complete Halo 3 on Legendary. ...using a guitar hero controller."