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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an AR 15? One is responsible for the deaths of Americans, the other is an inanimate object."

"I'm starting a magazine called ""Jugs"". It's mostly about pottery."

"Elsa My daughter just told me this before bed. Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon? Because she'll let it goooo"

"*Jesus looks over bill from last supper* ""It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver."" ""I got this!"" Judas yells, almost too quickly."

"Idea: Pepperoni staples for when the cheese keeps sliding off your pizza"

"Pickup line Hey there, wanna come over and watch porn on my 50 inch flat-screen mirror?"

"I'm thinking about taking a break from drinking . I hear drinking too much water can be deadly"

"The people at Netflix are geniuses. I'm impressed that they were able to make a show based on a swimming pool game! I wonder what they'll try next."

"I wanted to see lot of animals so I went to the zoo. But they only had one small dog. It was a SHIH-TZU."

"We see you, people with transitions glasses that haven't fully adjusted to the correct lighting. We see you."