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Joke of the Day

"Spiderman, Spiderman/ Does whatever a spider can/ Attends college/ Works as a photographer/ Just like a spider"

"Some people are about as useful as the ""r"" in February."

"When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it's an injured Transformer."

"My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: ""I enjoy receiving a paycheck."""

"Chewbacca told everyone about my sex change operation. Damn wookieeleaks"

"Unless you're a toddler heading towards traffic I'm not running after you."

"Q: What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? A: What a lavaly day!"

"I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license."

"The Cheesiest Joke I Know What did the cracker say to the slice of cheddar? ""Say, you're looking mighty sharp today!"" To which the cheddar replied, ""Fuck you, white boy."""

"Just had a panic attack thinking how little time I've practiced picking up stuff with my toes in the event I ever lose my arms."