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Joke of the Day
"Some people don't like vegetable puns... but I don't carrot all about their opinions."
Next Joke
"""Your resume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* ""Grad school."""
"Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !"
"I like my coffee like I like my women... Silent"
"My neighbors loved the music so much when I turned it up, that they invited the police to listen. :)"
"My wife is like a hurricane... At the beginning there was a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end I lost my house."
"Why does everyone hate their elder brother?"
"Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet? Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny"
"Pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain."
"I saw a Trump supporter getting jumped by 6 guys yesterday, I knew I had to do something. So I jumped in. He had no chance against 7 of us."