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Joke of the Day

"I can control sheep by just listening to them It's true, I heard them with my own ears"

"Did you grow up on a farm? Because you sure know how to raise cock"

"Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt? So they would end up with seasoned veterans."

"Iggy Azalea may not be the best singer... but she certainly is the fanciest"

"My dad put snowballs in the blender I miss snowballs he was a great cat"

"My boss asked me to fix the plug on his lamp... I simply refused."

"The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare. Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie."

"It would be nice if for once i got a thank you... ...when I serve breakfast in bed instead of ""who are you"" and ""how did you get in here""."

"I think my friend might be gay... His dick tastes like shit."

"Jesus walks into a hotel Lays a handful of nails on the counter and asks the attenant ""Can you put me up for the night?"""