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Joke of the Day

"So I Was Going to Kill Myself But I hear whales are endangered."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? I can't gargle sand."

"Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side but we don't sell them!"

"What's the difference between Joan Rivers' face and Kate Upton's tits? 5000 views"

"Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud!"

"The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!"

"I run a support group for premature ejaculators every Friday at 6. But everybody comes early."

"Knock Knock Knock! Knock! -Who's there? Hanna. -Hanna who? Hanna partridge in a pear tree"

"I haven't seen David Luiz this upset since Bart and Lisa got him sent to prison."