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Joke of the Day

"""Let's get ready to bumble!!!"" - Bees"

"I lost twenty pounds by making sure that three times a week I get a good hour of doing crystal meth"

"Animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before the last earthquake,our dog took the car keys and drove off"

"Why does pooping get more intense while you're listening to music? Because it's logarythmic."

"How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!"

"What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!"

"What do you call a friendly helicopter? A hello-copter"

"What do you call a rich Asian? *Cha Ching!*"

"TIFU by having the bomb squad called to my party. They said it was the bomb."

"I like my women how I like my pudding. With their tops off and my penis in them."