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Joke of the Day

"The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds."

"Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world"

"Don't Be Racist Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with a light on."

"I got an electric shock yesterday. I couldn't resist it"

"What do you call someone with no body and just a nose? No body knows!"

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot you racist."

"Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!"

"I had a debate with myself about masturbation... ... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!"

"If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party"