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Joke of the Day

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies! ^tee ^hee"

"A priest and a rabbi are walking and spot a little boy The priest says, ""let's fuck him."" The rabbi says, ""out of what?"""

"After my date orders, I always tell the waiter ""Nothing for me..I'll be eating later"" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!"

"Girls giving blowjobs for Louboutins - Whatcha call that? Head over heels."

"Want to know how to not get malware? To late, you already clicked the link."

"And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter."

"*walking with my girlfriend on a beach* *i get down on one knee* ""will you ma..."" *a dog walks past & farts so loud it drowns out my voice*"

"A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!"

"It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle. She tried putting batteries in it."

"If Obama said If President Obama said he was in favor of oxygen, republicans would suffocate themselves."