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Joke of the Day

"Yeah, but I thought the whole point of twitter was to be stalked.nnThe word 'follower' should be evidence of that"

"Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him"

"Q: How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers? A: There is writing on the White-out."

"I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled ""Intel"""

"Q. Why do men like love at first site? A. It saves them a lot of time."

"I bet the Al Qaeda recruiting video is just footage of Americans waiting in line for cupcakes."

"CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?"

"How can you know that you are insecure about what other people think of your post? [deleted]"

"What did the New Zealand naval officer say to his crew? All hands on dick...."

"I like people getting mad at airlines for snow-relayed delays/cancellations. You think companies that incompetent can control the weather?"