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Joke of the Day

"Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!"

"My friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I killed his mom with a coconut."

"Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job."

"TIFU by being King of the jungle Lololol I am Lion"

"""evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window"" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted"

"I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?"

"Honey, I let myself go and gained all this weight to prevent other men from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you."

"An ancient tribe of homosapiens split off from the rest and stared at the sun for thousands of years. Today we call them Asians."

"A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you ""I'm drunk"" is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying ""I'm delicious"""

"new tattoo My wife has a new tattoo. its a shell on the inside of her thigh. when i put my ear to it i can smell the sea..."