169131

Joke of the Day

"I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

"I carry around a note in my wallet that says, ""The curse must be passed, I'm so sorry"" in case it's ever stolen."

"A Monk went into a shoe store... He was doing some Sole Searching."

"What do u call a black abortion? crime control"

"""Some people say I'm an animal in the sack."" - baby kangaroo"

"Currently the flower business is blooming."

"INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in? ME: What do you mean ""if"" Harry Potter was real?"

"How is my penis like a dead midget? They're both a little stiff"

"I thought I loved you but it turned out I just had too much coffee."

"I was born pessimist My Blood Group is B negative"