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Joke of the Day

"I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

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"I carry around a note in my wallet that says, ""The curse must be passed, I'm so sorry"" in case it's ever stolen."
"A Monk went into a shoe store... He was doing some Sole Searching."
"What do u call a black abortion? crime control"
"""Some people say I'm an animal in the sack."" - baby kangaroo"
"Currently the flower business is blooming."
"INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in? ME: What do you mean ""if"" Harry Potter was real?"
"How is my penis like a dead midget? They're both a little stiff"
"I thought I loved you but it turned out I just had too much coffee."
"I was born pessimist My Blood Group is B negative"