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Joke of the Day

"Makes sense Apple fans would buy a MacBook candle... ...They're already used to the smell of burning synthetic materials and watching their money go up in flames."

"I don't see what's wrong with gay marriage It eliminates the worst part of a relationship"

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"My friend overdosed on chill pills. On the plus side, he was by far the coolest person at the funeral."

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink."

"Dropped my wallet today & a homeless guy chased me down to give it back. I was so moved I took out all of my money & gave him a free wallet."

"did you hear about the Indian restaurant that ran out of bread? it was a naan issue sorry"

"I cant believe I forgot to go to the gym this morning. That's 7 years in a row now."

"What do you call a person who makes surrealist sandwiches? Salvador Deli."