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Joke of the Day

"What's that Lassie? Bark! Yes I have a few moments of free time Bark! Goddammit lassie no I don't want to hear about Jesus"

"[reeling in big fish and turns to friend] you got the net? ""yes"" ok, google how to get this thing in the boat"

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He got the gas bill."

"Wife: You only half-listen to me. You're in a boatload of trouble. Me: Yes, let's buy a boat."

"Did you know the Hulk has a lesser know super hero cousin with depression? Yeah, he's called the Incredible Sulk. #momstandup"

"Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise. ... because each game is made from 90% recycled material."

"What did the Vagina say to the Anus? I'll meet you at the Taint."

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? Oh wait, I don't have a garage. Sorry neighbor I'll clean them out tomorrow."

"The last Post-It note in a pack should be a preprinted reminder to pick up more Post-It notes."