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Joke of the Day

"I have a pretty good joke about procrastination But on second thought I think I'll tell it later."

"Conspiracy theories are like moon landings. They're all fake"

"NSFW Men are like a deck of cards... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his fucking face in and a spade to bury the bastard!"

"Butt dialing and booty calling So similar. So different"

"I was dating a radiologist... but it didn't work out: she could see right though me."

"Just like to give a shout out to the guy who plays triangle in our orchestra. Thanks for every ting."

"I just put up a white board in my house... wanted to make the place a bit more classy"

"Anytime I see a happy white couple in their 30's sitting in front of a laptop, I just assume they are filming a credit score commercial."

"My friend asked me today if I started Christmas shopping. I'm crying. While digging a hole to bury her."

"What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog...because it croaks every night"