168860

Joke of the Day

"If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job."

"Need help While scratching my ear with key few hours ago, audio on my brand new TV went off. Does anyone know good TV Service. Sh... I think my Laptop sound died too."

"Boxing is like a dance, a dance where you punch your dance partner until he doesn't want to dance anymore."

"The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing ""Stay With Me"" into a megaphone."

"Nsfw. My wife and I had not had sex in a couple months but this morning she woke up randy... He is our neighbor and said her music was up too loud. We still havent had sex."

"I think I have a sleeping disorder. It's called children"

"""What attracted you to our company?"" Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work"

"I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]"

"I wrote to the Bank: ""My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?"""