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Joke of the Day

"I bet Hannibal Lecter was pretty disappointed when he found out a five finger discount had nothing to do with purchasing fingers."

"A Polish girl got married On her wedding night, she received something long and hard from her husband. It was his last name."

"Did you hear about the avon lady ? Max Factor"

"I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake."

"Cow Joke What do cows watch in the theaters? moovie"

"I'm actually surprised Sarah Palin has fewer than 200,000 Twitter followers, or, as she calls them, ""Birdy-word-numberees."""

"A paedophile says to a school boy ""I'll give you a lolly if you come into the van"" The boy replies ""Give me the whole bag and I'll cum into your mouth""."

"Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus? Because he'd urn-ed it."

"COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody"

"What is the difference between Jelly and Jam ? I have no fucking idea."