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Joke of the Day

"Apparently ""I don't like scary movies,"" is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video."

"Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair."

"I was horrible in school... I failed math so many times, I can't even count"

"Having sex is like multiplying numbers together If they're under 13, just do them in your head."

"When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie... I miss snowballs, she was a good cat."

"Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift? Michael J. Fox; he would just shake it off."

"All the toilets in New York's police stations have mysteriously vanished. Now the police have nothing to go on."

"Q: What's the friendliest school? A: Hi school."

"I enrolled to online Private Investigator Course but they are not answering... I'm not sure if they just ignoring me or this is my first case..."

"*pulls away from kissing* JUDGE: That was unexpected and kind of nice, but you're still guilty."