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Joke of the Day

"I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password ""Have some respect for the dead!"" he said I replied ""Is that all lower case?"""

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack. Girlfriend came up with it. It was so bad it was good."

"Before you get into an argument with someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when the argument starts you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."

"i'm really nervous about getting my girlfriend's pregnancy results back... and i'm not even the one who'll have to raise the baby alone!"

"Hmmm... Jack Nicholson. He's that guy from the Laker's games right?"

"So Knock Knock Knock Knock Whos There Me Me Who Miguel ps: my name is Miguel"

"What do Swedish people put in their coffee? Artifical Swedeners"

"What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"I really want to see ""Constipation: The Movie"" but it hasn't come out yet."

"Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording? A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated."