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Joke of the Day
"Susan broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine."
Next Joke
"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""
"If Gingrich were to win the presidency... ...can we call his current wife the ""third lady?"""
"Jesus wasn't angry at the soldiers who crucifixed him He was just crossed."
"I went to a prostitute but she charged way too much and only gave me a handjob I guess you could say I didn't get a good bang for my buck."
"Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez... the same week Black Ops 2 comes out? Good call Justin."
"When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all ""Nice to meet you. Big fan""."
"If I see someone is too drunk I take their keys. Not for safety, they're probably blacked out and just won't remember I stole their car."
"What is a Jewish dilemma Free ham"
"Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework."