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Joke of the Day

"Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework."

"If I had a dime for everytime I thought about you... I would definitely think about you"

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats."

"Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught? Because he couldn't throw away the evidence"

"Talking to women is like writing code I look back at what I wrote a week later and think ""what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that?!"""

"When my Great Grandmother was a kid she asked her dad for a ring with a cat on it. Her father replied with stick your finger up the cats ass."

"For the last time big girls, a smaller dress size doesn't make you look smaller. Actually, it does the opposite."

"I thought my son would be glad and appreciate that I got him a trampoline But nooo, all he does is sit and cry in his wheelchair all day"

"You can't fix stupid but you can divorce it"