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Joke of the Day

"A bee was buzzing around my head and I was all ""It's not worth it, bro"" and he was all ""Fuck you, let's dance."" Stung me and he's dead."

"About the blind man that took up parachuting. He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't."

"So there are some salads in jail... So one of them says, ""Lettuce go!"""

"Whats the difference between my computer and Paul Walker... ... When my computer crashes, I give a shit."

"THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985): Five white heterosexual suburban American 17-year-olds manage to find common ground."

"How do you stop a Mexican tank? You shoot the people pushing it."

"So John cena wakes up from a coma... He asks the doctor ""where am I?"" The doctor says ""ICU"" And John cena says ""no you don't"""

"Why doesn't Hellen Keller play piano? Because she's fucking dead."

"Waiter, waiter, what's wrong with this fish? Waiter: Long time, no sea Sir."

"I T H I N K W E S H O U L D R U I N P E O P L E S T I M E L I N E B Y T W E E T I N G L I K E T H I S A L L D A Y . . . . ."