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Joke of the Day

"Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still."

"My boss just asked me why I wasn't working.. ..i told em cuz I didn't see him coming"

"Roses are red... Roses are red, here's something new, violets are violet, not fucking blue!!! (Found this in a youtube comment a while back ago. Unfourtunately I can't remember where.)"

"What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot? let me be your *soil*mate"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Him? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"Did you hear about the fly that sat on the toilet seat? It got pissed off."

"What do you call a person who has sex with a person and a sheep? Basexual"

"What do you call a tuber that buys his girlfriend chocolates? A sweet potato."

"What program do Jedi use to PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi"

"It's almost as if they don't know the first rule of carrying rolls of wrapping paper club is; always be prepared for a sword fight, officer."