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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the fly that sat on the toilet seat? It got pissed off."

"Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew that has to follow the Kardashian's 24/7."

"Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens."

"Why was the OCD race car driver so fast? Because he had anal prolapse."

"Why do tweakers do it doggy-style? So they can both look out the window."

"I started writting an autobiography but I gave up... Story of my life."

"I think twitter is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks."

"Why do women find Christian Grey so appealing? Beats me."

"[on date] ME: I'll have a steak WAITER: How would u like that cooked? ME: Uhh with fire or some kind of heat? *rolls eyes at date*"

"Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."