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Joke of the Day

"My 5 stages of grief: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Are you gonna eat that?"

"Is the volcano mean or nice? He was mean because he interrupts. (Courtesy of a family member - Benjamin)"

"What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old? About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde."

"What was written on the UNIX user's doormat? ""There's no place like cd ~"""

"""Are you there, God? It's me, well, you've probably never heard of me cuz I'm like really underground & shit."" -- Hipster prayer"

"It's like the women in this bar don't know how close I am to getting my own apartment."

"Me: Mom, am I ugly? Mom: Why don't you ask your girlfriend? Me: But I don't have a girlfriend! Mom: Still looking for the answer?"

"What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger..."

"Fox has a new competition special airing tomorrow night. ""So You Think You Can Prez"""

"A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community."