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Joke of the Day

"What did the polite homosexual man say to another at the bar? Mind if I push your stool in for you?"

"To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles: Grow up."

"Our top story tonight... Generalisimo Francisco Franco is still dead..."

"*shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race"

"Got disoriented and walked into the wrong classroom. Didn't want to look stupid so I just went ahead and switched majors."

"Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because he conditioned it."

"I'm 291 away from having 3000 followers on Twitter and 8 away from having 10 friends in real life."

"The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat"

"Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan."

"Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!"