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Joke of the Day

"A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde girlfriend sliding down the banister naked. He blurts out ""What do you think you're doing?"" ""Just heating up dinner"" she replies."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strokin' Off"

"[getting murdered] Me: ""Could you please stop for a second?"" *gives murderer a Snickers"

"What would you doooooooo? for a klondike bar?"

"Ok, another Grandfather joke. (revised) Just joking they're both locked in my basement with their mouths gagged while I collect their social security checks."

"I have 12 fish, 5 drown how many do I have left? 12! Fish cant drown! (Dont be that guy and tell the truth about fish drowning)"

"Why did your mom tip the delivery boy? She wanted a pizza dat ass."

"Never give your address or date of birth to anyone on social media. Armed with this information, they could show up at your birthday party."

"What state is a person in when they've just been made fun of sexually on the internet? E-reckt"

"Did you hear that some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo? It was otter chaos!"