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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the white guy who got pulled over? Me neither."

".@Oprah If I were as rich as you I'd shit on the floor & tell a senator to pick it up."

"A guy told a story about a creeper who got too close to him in /r/minecraft. It blew up. I'll show myself out."

"Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon."

"Welcome to Asia's newest billionare. His name is Cha Ching."

"Why shouldn't you burn scented candles inside of a Buddhist shrine? Because doing so would be incense-itive!"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? Because he was too far out mannnn."

"why do hens have no tits? 'cause roosters got no hands"

"Only God can judge me. *gets hit by lightning*"

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar, and the impressed bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that? "" The parrot shrieks.... ""*AFRICA!*"""