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Joke of the Day

"So I bought some shoes off my drug dealer. And I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it."

"I just found out I'm going to be a father!!! My wife will be pretty mad when she finds out."

"I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros."

"I'm not racist, racism is a crime. And only black people commit crimes."

"The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker."

"Why does Karl Marx only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft!"

"Guess what? Elephant Butt"

"What is it called when a gamer fights someone? An Asthma attack."

"What's long, hard and makes a woman moan when erect? An ironing board."