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Joke of the Day

"I won a contest to go trick or treating with Arnold Schwarzenegger this year. Wad thinking of going as Beethoven. He'll be Bach."

"How do we know Snow White was a hipster? She could never say no to apple."

"Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me."

"What do women and pennies have in common? They ain't worth shit"

"So I found out Viagra's pharmaceutical name. Mycoxafloppin"

"Sometimes ""4 star hotel"" means 4 porn stars have stayed there. In the same room. At the same time. With a camera crew. And a goat."

"Skrillex sounds like that time I threw a bag of beer bottles into an empty dumpster & a homeless dude yelled jibberish at me for waking him."

"What do you call a marine with an IQ of 70? General"

"A neutron walks into a bar... A neutron walks into a bar and asks, ""How much for a drink?"" The bartender replies, ""For you? No charge."""

"""I would describe your butt as a 7/10..."" ""...There's a crack and a hole in it."""