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Joke of the Day

"Sucks how every girl I'm interested in is either taken or has good taste in men."

"For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs. Or without porn, on 54 DVDs."

"There are only 10 bad people in the world.. And i get Christmas cards from 9 of them."

"Q: Do ghouls eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat their fingers separately."

"I was having a piss in a war zone. Probably wasn't the best time for one of my fellow soldiers to yell, ""Cover me!"""

"I know that I have an attitude problem But I just don't care"

"How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"Why isn't NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections? Because it's the only part of the govt that listens to the American people."

"First date with a hummingbird: You're moving too fast."

"Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look! Folsom: You couldn't be!"