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Joke of the Day

"I noticed my waitress had a black eye so I ordered very clearly. Because obviously she doesn't get things right the first time."

"Why can't cats survive on Mars, even with spacesuits? Because Curiosity will kill them."

"TIFU by getting my wife the wrong Subway sandwich Oops wrong sub"

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? They found him drowned in his teepee."

"[at bank] *slides teller a note* Teller: Me: T: M: [winks] T: Seriously!? M: uh huh T: M: T: *slides me a lollipop*"

"what happens when a frogs car breaks down? it gets toad"

"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that but it's also terrible."

"How come white girls can only count odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing."

"What do you call a wandering caveman? A meanderthal."