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Joke of the Day

"Why can't cats survive on Mars, even with spacesuits? Because Curiosity will kill them."

"I've always wondered what I'm saying when I meow back at my cats."

"I've never been to Prague... But I've always wanted to Czech it out!"

"What do I call my dick? Steve Harvey because it's rising right now"

"Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise ""change."""

"How long does it take for an African mom to shit? 9 months..."

"My wife asked me: ""Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home."" I replied: "" I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"""

"A man walks into the bar But fails since he was too busy drinking through law school"

"Sorry for letting the air out of one of your tires, delivery guy, but based on the way you cut my pizza, I assumed you liked things uneven."

"Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth... Its pasteurized before you even see it!"