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Joke of the Day

"When Eminem, wrote Recovery, obviously he wanted to Recover. Akon wrote Freedom, because he wanted freedom. And Justin Bieber wrote boyfriend, hhmmmm......"

"If you didn't get called to a meeting with your 5-yr-old son's principal because he was inviting girls to his ""naked party,"" you aren't me."

"Damn girl, did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan."

"I have a contact lens problem. I have no contact lens solution."

"Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger inspire George W Bush to become president? A: Because he could explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German!"

"I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice"

"Burning Man Build a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"What is Mozart doing right now? De-composing"

"I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn't punch them in the head as soon as they got here."

"Did you hear about the confused question mark? He couldn't figure out how he got a period."