231394

Joke of the Day

"After sex last night... ...my new girlfriend snuggled up next to me and said, ""You know, you are by far the biggest I've ever had"". Apparently ""Ditto"" is not the right response."

Next Joke
 
"If I was a vampire, pretty sure I'd find a way to cover blood in cheese."
"Why don't gelding horses like to race? Because every time they go to the starting gate they're reminded ""They're Off!""."
"White people colonized 34 of the world looking for spices and they still can't season their food right."
"A man is going through customs entering Australia The man behind the desk asks him ""do you have a criminal record?"" The man replies ""No, I didn't know that was still a requirement"""
"Knock knock... A: Knock, knock! B: Who's there? A: The Interrupting Cow. B: The Interrupt-- A: MOOOOOOOO!!"
"What do you call a fat psychic? ...a four chin teller"
"What's something 9 out of 10 people enjoy? [NSFW] [xpost /r/askmen] gang rape"
"going to travel back in time and paint a giant ""@"" in a cave just to freak everyone out"
"My snowboarding career has really gone downhill."