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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a mean dust storm? Darude - Sandstorm"

"What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it"

"[boss finds pics of me snowboarding] ""You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING"" *fist bump*"

"""As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?"" ""They all called to say they're running late"""

"""Babe I'm ready for bed"" ""Why so early its the weekend?"" [background] ""Next up Channel 6 News reveals Ashley Madison's local business men"""

"I've fallen in love with the internet. It was love at first site.."

"You can pretend you're a ghost at pottery barn, there's no laws against that"

"A woman asked me for a German method of coal extraction... And mein shaft she got"

"Goddammit, my parole officer says none of my RTs count towards community service. This has been a huge waste of time."

"Serious question: can orphans watch PG movies? After all, they don't have parents..."