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Joke of the Day

"My local supermarket is selling Star Wars-themed cereal... They really are trying to milk the franchise for all its worth."

"The cops arrested my phone yesterday. They charged it with battery."

"What's the difference between a duck? One of it's legs is both the same."

"I always drink heavily whenever there's a blizzard or a hurricane or the slightest breeze."

"What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends? A homie missile."

"How do you know a black chick is pregnant? When she pulls out the tampon all the cotton has been picked."

"I want my funeral to be 20 consecutive moments of silence followed by a first-time bugler playing taps."

"I've just got back from a funeral of a friend who was killed after being hit in the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"How did Kobe Bryant go on his math test? He didn't pass."

"Knock knock [Fixed] Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? ... hehe"