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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops the other stops the nose."

"In many ways Trump presidency is like one of your stupider Adam Sandler movies. Basically stupid, but sometimes funny. Ridiculous premise."

"You ever notice when your phone decides to call someone its someone you don't want to talk to.!"

"Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey? Because all proper tea is theft."

"Fighting a war on drugs beats fighting a war sober"

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... ...you've seen a mall"

"WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic THERAPIST [to me] Is that right? ME: No. It should be fewer arguments"

"My friend overheard me saying I could go for some malt liquor. Instead, the bastard got me a box of Whoppers. ""What the hell is this?!"" I said. ""Suck on them. Now, you're a *malt licker*!"""

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"It's a shame what happened to the Dolphins's parents...... I can't imagine being an Orfin"