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Joke of the Day

"Why did balloon prices keep rising? Because they had to adjust for inflation."

"Quitting smoking was the easiest thing I've ever done... I've done it hundreds of times."

"I'm sure wherever my dad is he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

"Q: If Rodham gets health care Bentsen gets treasury and Aspin gets defense what does Gore get? A: Coffee."

"It's like my daddy always says...if you can't beat 'em, arrange to have 'em beaten."

"What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath? One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole"

"boss: why aren't you working? me: i didn't see you coming!"

"What's the best thing about having sex with Twenty Five year olds? There's 20 of them."

"I subscribe to Groupon because it's good to know which nearby restaurants have mediocre food & will probably be out of business soon."

"Who is the most successful liar in the world? Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions."