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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch an ounce of ganja Jack lit up and took a puff And Jill cuffed him. She was DEA. Jack died in prison."

"What kind of ship never sinks? A dictatorship. *sobs*"

"I remember my first internet boyfriend. I was 13, he was 55. <3"

"Knock-knock. Who's there? No, he's on first."

"[10 mins into couples therapy] Therapist: I cannot help you two. Me: Let's go, Betsy! See! She doesn't listen! T: GET YOUR DOG OFF MY COUCH!"

"Which Nordic country should you never be a part of? Finland. Once you're a citizen, that's it! You're Finnish! It's over."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house the car and half of Ken's belongings"

"Guy 1: ""Fuckin A, man"" Guy 2: ""Fuck a B, it has more holes."""

"Now I know why they call her ""head nurse"" It's because she is in charge of the other nurses...not what I was hoping for."

"I overdosed on my homeopathic medicine today. Forgot to take it."