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Joke of the Day

"I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole.."

"A reposted joke walks into a bar... It gets downvoted into submission"

"I threw caution to the wind.caution is my little brother."

"My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers. The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel."

"OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there"

"I used to date a dysexic woman... ... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."

"What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? The road."

"Why do pencils shave? To look sharp"

"There's nothing worse than getting bullied in school... Especially if you are a fish."

"A local radio station was finishing up a competition and the woman said she was ""racking up the tally"" I guess that makes her a **tallyracker**."