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Joke of the Day

"*cop frisking me* Cop: ""theres nothin in your pockets that will poke me, right?"" Uh, no Cop: ""OW!"" *baby porcupine jumps out* RUN POKEY, RUN"

"""Ho, ho, ho!"" -Santa doing a head count"

"What do you call a rotten lamb chop? Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad."

"What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton"

"""There's a party in my pants!"" Sadly, they only RSVP I've received was from myself."

"How do you now when somebody is retarded on Facebook? Well, its complicated."

"When people put punchlines in the title. You know what I hate most about /r/Jokes?"

"""Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup."" -Maybelline"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement."

"Cop: can you describe the man who stole your watch? Me: Yes, he had exceptional taste"