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Joke of the Day

"Interesting piece of history... In 1872, the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first."

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"There was a pair of Siamese triplets, but they wanted to be a pair. So they cut out the middle man."
"Guys with ponytails are clearly vampires because there's no way you can actually see yourself in a mirror & still think that looks good."
"What do you cal a wine hangover? The grape depression."
"Fun game: Order food to be delivered to your mobile home and then lead the delivery driver on a high-speed chase through town."
"Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')"
"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."
"""Was that lightning?"" No... they're taking pictures for google earth."
"Misunderstood gift! My lesbian neighbours gave me a rolex for my birthday. Really sweet of them, but i think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""""
"I have a really bad phobia of speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it"