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Joke of the Day

"This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris... ... Effectively crippling the French military."

"ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant"

"Beverly Hills - 90210 Denver Broncos - 16"

"ME [Puts up ""Have u seen my dog?"" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome"

"""So....sad.....must...text...everyone I know..."" ~ Girls"

"I asked a chinese girl for her number... I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"I always used to think my parents are like siblings' sounds so much better than, my parents are, like, siblings.'"

"What do you call an orgy with five black people? A threeway"

"If I stabbed someone with icicle, no one would find the murder weapon, because it melts. This thought is haunting me."

"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? I don't know he hasn't opened it yet."