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Joke of the Day

"The problem with protests... Is that once things start to get lit, the cops show up and ruin it."

"What do people with an extra chromosome wash their clothes with? Downy."

"So I walked into the pharmacy the other day... because I needed to grab some condoms. As I was checking out, the clerk asked, ""do you need a bag for that?"" I replied, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"My wife just got breast implants made out of oak I don't think I could do that, I think it'd hurt, wooden tit?"

"What's big, huge and hairy? A Goliath bird eating tarantula."

"""As someone who has shown an interest in vacuums,"" the email from Amazon said, unsubscribedly."

"Did you hear about that Air Asia flight? Air traffic control didn't."

"When would a discount be a bad thing? Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free."

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"Halloween: The one day I can flap my arms like a bat and nobody asks any questions."