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Joke of the Day
"I love self depricating humor Its another thing that wont love me back"
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"Why is the new version called Windows 10? Because 7 ate 9."
"Was kind of surprised at all the swearing when I unplugged the church organ to charge my phone."
"[In this tweet spoons fall in love harder than anyone] ""My darling I am a spoon for you, you fill my world with frogs"" [and frogs are joy]"
"Why do people say ""fat people are lazy""? Fat people get themselves food, I'm skinny because I'm too lazy to get myself food."
"Her: You have a cigarette machine in your kitchen? Me: Well it would look ridiculous in the living room..."
"next year big pixar movie for kids: follow the journey of a single tear down an old womans face as she learns her grandson died in a fire"
"I am creating a new airline called 'The Wife'... Crash proof... It will never go down."
"My little brother wished for bigger family gatherings So I listed my single uncles on dating websites. ""You want aunts? That's how you get aunts."""
"My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney."